Zooooom.

So I am used to driving the highways of MO at around 70 mph, which most of the speed limits range from 65-70. I wouldn't say I am a fast driver, and I have never had a speeding ticket....

Well that changed today.

I was leaving Milwaukee after a girl's weekend with old roomies. I was eager to get back to St. Louis. Well in WI the speed limit on the interstate is 55. I mean that is pretty slow, especially when cruising through the farm lands. I was just about to cross the state lines into IL when I go over this hill and there is a state trooper just sitting there. I hit the brake. I am hoping to get lucky. The lights turn on. Not to so lucky.

The first thing I think is to cry, but after the weekend I had I was too dehydrated to produce tears. The cop was a little weird, but friendly. He is asking me questions like "What is your phone number?" "Do they require insurance in MO?" I fumble around my car looking for my insurance, finally finding it.

The cop then wants to know why I was in Milwaukee. I couldn't think of an answer, nor could anyone in the car. We just sit there. I mean what was I supposed to tell the cop... to party? I mean it is 9 am in the morning and I hadn't gotten got back to the hotel until 12:30 after celebrating "Das Oktoberfest".

The cop walks away. I know I am getting this ticket.

I wait....

and wait..

and wait.....

Does he not know I have to get back to St. Louis for a kickball game.

20 minutes later that cop comes back and asks me to get out of my car. I begin to shake... Why do I have to get out of my car on the side of the interstate. I instantly think I am taking a sobriety check. Surely I would be able to pass this.

No that is not the situation. The cop wants to let me know my insurance card expired on the previous day but he is just giving me a warning for it. Then he goes on to tell be "You are not a bad person for getting this ticket, I just need to be more aware of my surroundings..." He probably told me this about 3 times in 3 different ways. It was like he was preaching, which maybe was a good thing because I didn't make it to church that morning. Then he asked me "Did you not see the 7 signs that had the speed limit on them"... I just shrugged my shoulders.. What I wanted to say is that I have never been in a state where the interstate speed is soooo slow. I mean 55 mph? Really? Are they afraid I am going to hit one of their dairy cows?

Then the cop says "So when did you change your name?"
Me: "What are you talking about officer?"
Cop: "I mean are you married or divorced, your name on your license doesn't match your signature that's what it took me so long to find you in the system"
Me: "I have never been married/divorced... My name has always been Erin O'Toole"
Cop: "Look at your signature it says something like Kelly" Cop points to a red signature about my photo
Me: "That is not my signature, that is the person at the DMV's"
Cop (lol-ing) "Wow."

Then the cop goes proceeds to tell me he has a microphone on and I am on camera... So look for me on the next episode of Cops: Wisconsin.